UK's Deadliest Biscuit

[midgit]

A research company has calculated the biscuit most likely to cause someone an injury during a tea or coffee break.

The custard cream was found to be the UK's most dangerous snack, on the basis of something called the Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation.

According to the Daily Telegraph, the research was carried out by Mindlab International at the request of the chocolate biscuit bar Rocky. Mike Driver, Marketing Director for Rocky said: "We commissioned this study after learning how many biscuit related injuries are treated by doctors each year."

Accidents have included people poking themselves in the eye with a biscuit, falling off a chair while reaching for the tin, sustaining burns after dunking a biscuit in scalding tea, and being hit by fragments flying through the air.

Other people have reported choking on crumbs and damaging a tooth or filling on a particularly hard biscuit. One unlucky person ended up stuck in wet concrete after wading in to pick up a stray biscuit.

Mindlab International director Dr David Lewis explained the background to the research.

"We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits," he said, "along with aspects of their consumption such as 'dunkability' and crumb dispersal."

According to Mindlab's calculations, here is the full list of the UK's riskiest biscuits, together with their 'danger' rating:

Custard Cream 5.64
Cookie 4.34
Chocolate Biscuit Bar 4.12
Wafer 3.74
Rich Tea 3.45
Bourbon 3.44
Oat Biscuit 3.31
Digestive 3.14
Ginger Nut 2.99
Shortbread 2.90
Caramel Shortcake 2.76
Nice Biscuit 2.27
Iced Biscuits/Party Rings 2.16
Chocolate Finger 1.38
Jaffa Cakes 1.16

Good to see that Jaffa Cakes are the least harmful :D

[bikerben]

jaffa cakes are crap toffee pops are the dogs b**ls

[monty]

A research company has calculated the biscuit most likely to cause someone an injury during a tea or coffee break.


Have people seriously not got anything better to do!
The thought that a company would put time, money and effort into this offends me!

[Bowdie]

This is serious research [as an occasional Jaffa cake eater], look up the paper on "Why Cornflakes go soggy in milk" it's a corker ;)

[JAC]

No way Ginger Nuts should be so far down that list. In some states they're classed as offensive weapons

[bikerben]

lol ^^^ so true

[petrolh34d]

No way Ginger Nuts should be so far down that list. In some states they're classed as offensive weapons

Yeah man, the things a like fecking bricks they're that hard!:eek:

Is this real though, the thought of someone wading into concrete to retrieve a stray biscuit seems a bit... I dunno, daft.

Even if it had been a Jammy Dodger:D

[Foxy36]

Must admit custard creams are nice with a cuppa but anything with caramel gets my vote oh and choccy hobnobs in fact i love all biccys which is why i go to the ym 4 times a week and also for something a little savoury Digestives and cheese are lash mmmmm

[Aul Han]

Why do biscuits go soggy?

[Kel]

I've just survived eating a custard cream so the rest of the list should be a piece of cake (or biscuit)

[Aul Han]

And with rating of 2.16 wtf is a party ring?

[Kel]

And with rating of 2.16 wtf is a party ring?

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:YMLEz4ttArks2M:http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/media/partyrings.jpg (http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/media/partyrings.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/views.php3%3Ffilter%3D89&usg=__NJZp23ROQXCFAyMjuMkS4piFCis=&h=487&w=162&sz=17&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=YMLEz4ttArks2M:&tbnh=129&tbnw=43&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dparty%2Bring%2Bbiscuits%26hl%3Den%26s a%3DN%26um%3D1)

[beechill_banty]

I'm off to the biscuit aisle to stock up so I can spend a weekend of "researching" to occupy me while on call :D

[beechill_banty]

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:YMLEz4ttArks2M:http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/media/partyrings.jpg (http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/media/partyrings.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/views.php3%3Ffilter%3D89&usg=__NJZp23ROQXCFAyMjuMkS4piFCis=&h=487&w=162&sz=17&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=YMLEz4ttArks2M:&tbnh=129&tbnw=43&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dparty%2Bring%2Bbiscuits%26hl%3Den%26s a%3DN%26um%3D1)

one of my absolute faves.

You can get a rectangular variant on the theme with coffee icing on one side - proper grown-ups biscuit!

http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/previous.php3?item=100

http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/media/cafenoir.jpg

[Aul Han]

I know quite a few fans of jaffa cakes! Im talkin' non stop eating of jaffas here, 24 or 36 at a time is common. There must be MSM or somethin' in them. Or else he has worms.

Is it even a biscuit?? Whys it on the list? So many important questions!!

Anyway sun is shining Im away out the bike...

[petrolh34d]

^^^ They're cakes actually, that's why they're useless to you if you have the power to move biscuits with your mind.

They also have one of the lowest fat contents of any snack in their category, which makes them great for building energy reserves before engaging in physical acticities.

Can't think of anything that would require any kind of physical exertion of the top of me head though :rolleyes:

[barry_kellett99]

Everyone knows...



Cake or biscuit?

Under UK law, no Value Added Tax (VAT) is charged on biscuits and cakes — they are "zero rated". Chocolate covered biscuits, however, are subject to VAT, currently 15%. McVities classed its Jaffa Cakes as cakes, but in 1991, this was challenged by Her Majesty's Customs and Excise and the case ended up before the courts. This may have been because Jaffa Cakes are about the same size and shape as some types of biscuit, and particularly because they are commonly eaten alongside, or instead of, traditional biscuits. A question that the court asked itself was "what criteria should be used to class something as a cake?"

McVities defended its classification of Jaffa Cakes as cakes. In doing so it produced a 12" (30 cm) Jaffa Cake to illustrate that its Jaffa Cakes were simply miniature cakes.

McVities argued that a distinction between cakes and biscuits is, among other things, that biscuits would normally be expected to go soft when stale, whereas cakes would normally be expected to go hard. It was demonstrated to the Tribunal that Jaffa Cakes become hard when stale. Other factors taken into account by the Chairman, Mr Potter QC, included the name, ingredients, texture, size, packaging, marketing, presentation, appeal to children, and manufacturing process. Contrary to a commonly held belief, whether something is considered a 'luxury item' is not a test for VAT purposes.

Mr Potter ruled that the Jaffa Cake is a cake. McVities therefore won the case and VAT is not paid on Jaffa Cakes.



All rise and cheer for Mr Potter please

[petrolh34d]

Haha, up yours customs and excise ye money grabing b'tards

[Kel]

They are now making oblong jaffa cakes! Why? the round ones are clearly designed to be consumed in one bite (full moon, half moon etc) so why change something that obviously works.

[TrixR4kidz]

proper grown-ups biscuit!
http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/media/cafenoir.jpg

Pensioner biccies Hodney?

Surprised the Jacob's Cracker is not on the list. Maybe it's just to damn dangerous. I personally have choked to death several times on those bad boys and lost countless eyes from getting a 'cracker shower'. 5hite as a biccie, but awesome as a weapon.

[Bowdie]

Jaffa rolls are nice but the altime best are LIDL's Cherry Jaffa cakes Mmm! - don't go looking for them in C'reagh as I bought the last 19 boxes :)

[monty]

mmmm, party rings! - the food of kings!

[petrolh34d]

Party rings = FAIL + Dentist bills

[monty]

Party rings = FAIL + Dentist bills

U16 = free healthcare ;) (+ hot dentist!:)!)

[sulley]

The custard cream was found to be the UK's most dangerous snack, on the basis of something called the Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation. :D

Ha ha ha ha, the B.I.T.E.

Pull the other one......!! :D