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penguinni
May 14-2009, 07:33 PM
Yeah I know its only Thursday but I thought Id get it out of the way early and leave more room for Kels Hotties!:D





A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii' so I can ride over anytime I want.' The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord,I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong,why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'


The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

NiallC771
May 14-2009, 08:14 PM
Lol!

JAC
May 14-2009, 11:11 PM
Similarly...

Adam is walking in the Garden of Eden and feels lonely when he sees that all the animals have a mate and are making little baby animals. God notices his sadness and says "Adam, I have seen your plight and will make a companion for you. She will be the perfect complement to you, understanding your emotional needs, caring for you and helping you in all your tasks. She will be flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone and you will call her woman and take her as your wife. However she will not be easy to create and there will be a cost to you for having such a partner."

Adam says "God, what is that cost, I will gladly pay it to have a woman who would be such a gift and helper in my life."

God replies "It'll cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam thinks about this for a while. "What would I get for a rib?"